i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I've blown a few things in my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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