i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
