Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize