Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize