Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
