I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
