I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Who wears a wallet chain?!
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
