are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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