what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
