i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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