can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
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