dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
my being single is dangerous.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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