apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
