He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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