im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I have already put on my inside pants.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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