She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
