when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Randomize
