rhymes with "ouble enetration"
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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