I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
