You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
