I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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