saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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