I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
