So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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