So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
