Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Small penises have feelings too.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?