So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning