No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
she told me i tasted like america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you inspire me to be a worse person
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You are a genius and a whore.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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