I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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