My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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