You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
