They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
