The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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