why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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