I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
