I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
