we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
