worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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