Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
