Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
it was like having sex with a tree stump
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
