It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Success! We fucked roommates!
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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