the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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