I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
