Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
This is classic penis vs brain.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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