i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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