In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
