I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
