What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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