my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize