To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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