bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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