Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize