oh god the rape fog is back!
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
