That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
