Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
