I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
