whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
