i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
