i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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